Glee characters watch Glee
by BiPride76
Summary: What it says on the tin
1. Chapter 1

Blaine stepped into the Warblers practice room expecting everyone to be warming up and getting ready for rehearsals but everyone was crowded around David, who was holding a CD case in his hands.

"Guys? What's going on?" Blaine asked raising an eyebrow, Wes wouldn't allow them to slack off this close to sectionals, _especially_ since Flint still couldn't walk and sing at the same time without falling on his face.

"It's a CD. It says Glee on it but that's it." Wes explained as David put it into the computer and connected it to the television.

"Where did you get it from?" Blaine questioned warily sitting down next to Jeff.

"Someone named Sue Sylvester brought it here." David said, his confusion tangible but Blaine blinked in surprise.

"I think we should call Kurt, Sue is the cheerleading coach from Mckinley. " Blaine mumbled pulling out his phone.

"That doesn't sound like a good idea Blaine," Thad argued, "you know how upset Kurt gets when you interrupt him from his mental health day." Blaine huffed.

"He won't stay mad at me," Blaine pouted but he put his phone away and all the Warblers waited for the video to start.

 **[OPEN: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. The cheerleading squad, the Cheerios, are practicing routines. They are being watched and timed by SUE SYLVESTER, their coach. One of the cheerleaders falls from the top of the formation.]**

"Oh my god." Nick exclaimed in shock while Wes and David enjoyed the sight of those cheerleaders' legs.

 **SUE: You think this is hard? Try being waterboarded. That's hard.**

"What?" Cameron spluttered and Thad wrinkled his nose.

"Is that Sue?" David asked and Blaine nodded amusedly.

"Is she serious?" Luke asked and Kurt nodded with a faint smile.

 **[CUT TO: EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. WILL SCHUESTER drives in and parks his clunky car. He approaches a dumpster where a group of jocks including NOAH "PUCK" PUCKERMAN and FINN HUDSON are surrounding KURT HUMMEL.]**

Blaine tensed and David frowned.

 **WILL: Making some new friends, Kurt?**

 **PUCK: He sure is, Mr. Schue.**

"I think he was talking to Kurt." Wes muttered with narrowed eyes. He was very protective of his Warblers, especially the countertenor who had to come to _them_ for comfort from his own school.

"But isn't that one of the guys from New Directions? Kurt wouldn't get hurt with them right?" Jeff asked confusedly but no one answered.

 **WILL: Hey, Finn, you still owe me that report on que hace el verano pasado.**

 **FINN: What?**

 **WILL: "What you did last summer."**

 **FINN: Almost halfway done with almost all of it, Mr. Schue.**

"Almost all of it?" Ethan mumbles and Cameron chuckles.

"That sounds like you in history, Logan." Reid commented and barely dodged in time to miss a pillow to the head.

 **[WILL leaves.]**

 **PUCK: It's hammer time!**

 **[PUCK and another jock pick KURT up.]**

"What the hell?" Wes questioned angrily, and Blaine's hands curled into fists.

"Oh no." Jeff mumbled and Nick slipped an arm around his shoulders.

"They better not." Luke growled and Reid grabbed his hand comfortingly.

 **KURT: Please, this is from Marc Jacobs' new collection!**

"Of course he would." Thad grumbled though concern still shone in his eyes.

 **FINN: Wait.**

"Isn't he Kurt's step-brother? Why wouldn't he stop him before this?" Flint frowned.

"I don't think he's stopping him Flint." Blaine said and Wes turned back to the TV alarmed.

 **[The jocks release KURT. He takes off his jacket and hands it to FINN.]**

 **FINN: Okay.**

 **[PUCK and the other jock toss KURT into the dumpster. FINN appears troubled.]**

The room goes dead silent. Everyone stared at the screen in shock and confusion.

"I've got to go." Blaine mumbles before rushing out the room, his fingers tapping his phone quickly. Wes almost jumps out of his seat filled with an irrational fear that their countertenor was hurt but David pulled him down.

"Blaine's got it."

Twenty minutes later Blaine is pulling a confused Kurt into the room behind him. The Warblers start talking all at once and Kurt flinches.

"GUYS!" Kurt yells and everyone immediately shuts their mouths. "So, Sue sent you guys a CD of my time at Mckinley?"

David and Wes nod not trusting themselves to speak. "O-okay," Kurt mumbles, his strong facade cracking slightly, "I think I should tell the others so they can come watch too."

Everyone stayed quiet as Kurt shot off a few texts and then he put his phone in his pocket.

"Let's see what the devil coach pulled from this hellhole of a school." Kurt muttered and Blaine grabbed his hand comfortingly.

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. QUINN FABRAY jumps and performs a cheerleading pose in the air.]**

"Woah." Trent gasped and Kurt rolled his eyes.

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. WILL stands in front of a trophy display, admiring a first-place trophy that WMHS won at the 1993 Show Choir Championships. Next, he looks at a plaque awarded to LILIAN ADLER (1937-1997) with the quote "By its very definition, Glee is about opening yourself up to joy."]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM - DAY. WILL is teaching a spanish class. FINN is in the class.]**

 **WILL: Como esta usted? Yo me llamo Guillermo.**

 **CLASS: (repeats, bored) Como esta usted? Yo me llamo Guillermo.**

 **WILL: Que lastima, hojala que se sienta mejor.**

 **CLASS: (repeats) Que lastima…**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. Male cheerleader jumps and performs a cheerleading pose in the air.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. CHOIR ROOM - DAY. SANDY RYERSON and HANK SAUNDERS are singing "Where Is Love?" from Oliver! together. RACHEL BERRY is watching, upset.]**

"Um ew." Logan said.

 **[CUT TO: INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY. WILL and KEN TANAKA are standing around a coffee maker without a coffee pot.]**

 **WILL: Where's the coffee pot?**

 **KEN: Figgins got rid of it. Budget cuts. You know, I know for a fact that they are still getting hot java at Carver. We should strike.**

 **[SUE enters with coffee drinks.]**

 **SUE: Hello, boys. Who needs a pick-me-up?**

 **KEN: Wow, lattes!**

 **SUE: Yeah, I am a bit of a coffee snob. Now, the key to a perfect latte, is in the temperature of the steamed milk. I like mine scalding.**

 **[EMMA enters.]**

 **KEN: Hi, Emma.**

 **EMMA: Hey, Ken. Will, hi.**

 **WILL: Hey.**

 **EMMA: What's with all the lattes?**

 **SUE: Oh, Emma, I just felt so awful that Figgins cut the coffee budget to pay for a nutritionist for the Cheerios.**

 **EMMA: Yeah, I heard you guys went, like, $600 over budget on that.**

 **SUE: My performers didn't get on Fox Sports Net last year because they ate at Bacon Junction.**

 **EMMA: Since when are cheerleaders performers?**

 **SUE: Your resentment is delicious. Well, I have a phoner in a couple of minutes. It's an interview on the telephone with a major media outlet. I'll probably do it on my iPhone. Enjoy.**

 **WILL: Thanks a lot, Sue.**

"That was weird." Flint said and Kurt huffed out a small laugh. "Get ready for that, anytime Sue is there it's weird."

 **[SUE exits. KEN walks over and sits down across from EMMA.]**

 **KEN: I missed you at the, uh, singles mixer last weekend, Emma.**

"Oh gosh." Wes said, his anger finally calming and relaxing.

 **EMMA: Yeah, I know. Big pipe exploded in my building. It was wild. I hate those mixer things though, I mean, it's like a big meat market. It's just, ugh. I did give my number to a fireman though. But he hasn't called.**

"A fireman?" Kurt said with mild interest, his head tilted and Blaine frowned.

 **WILL: You know what, there's someone out there for everyone. I wouldn't even sweat it.**

 **EMMA: Hey, did you hear that Sandy Ryerson got fired?**

 **WILL: Really? Well, who's going to take over Glee Club?**

 **EMMA: Don't know.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY. PRINCIPAL FIGGINS and WILL are seated across from each other.]**

 **WILL: I'd like to take over Glee Club.**

 **FIGGINS: You want to captain the Titanic, too?**

 **WILL: I think I can make it great again. There is no joy in these kids. They feel invisible. That's why every one of them has a MySpace page.**

"Who has a MySpace anymore?" Ethan asked and Cameron shushed him, excited to know how the New Directions came to be.

 **FIGGINS: 60 bucks a month. That's what I need to keep this program up**.

"That's not so bad." Flint said and Kurt frowned.

"Don't forget that this is a public school," Kurt reminded, though not unkindly, "and not everyone has that kind of money."

Flint blushed, embarrassed but he nodded.

 **WILL: And you-you expect me to pay it?**

 **FIGGINS: I'm certainly not going to pay for it. We're not talking about Cheerios here, Will. They were on Fox Sports Net last year. When Glee Club starts bringing that kind of prestige to the school again, you can have all the money you want. Until then, 60 bucks a month. And you've got to use the costumes and props you already have. But we need the stools for wood shop.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT. TERRI SCHUESTER is asleep. WILL lies wide awake.]**

 **WILL: (voice over) Hiding the $60 a month from my wife, Terri, was going to be hard. But I had a bigger problem. How was I going to get these kids motivated? One thing I knew for sure, we needed a new name.**

 **[WILL sits up, excited.]**

 **WILL: "New Directions!"**

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. MERCEDES JONES walks up to the New Directions sign-up sheet and writes down her name.]**

"Mercedes!" Kurt squeals happily and Blaine could see the longing in his eyes.

Kurt missed his friends.

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. MERCEDES is on stage.]**

 **MERCEDES: My name is Mercedes Jones and I'm singing…**

 **[MERCEDES sings Aretha Franklin's "Respect".]**

"Damn." David whistled and Wes nodded. "She definitely has mine".

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. KURT walks up to the sign-up sheet and writes down his name.]**

"Go Kurt!" The Warblers cheer and Kurt hides his smile by scratching at his cheek.

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. KURT is on stage.]**

 **KURT: Hello, I'm Kurt Hummel, and I'll be singing "Mr. Cellophane".**

 **[KURT sings "Mr. Cellophane" from Chicago.]**

"Woah." Blaine muttered when Kurt hit the high note without a single sweat and Nick nodded in agreement. Kurt smirked triumphantly when Blaine pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. TINA COHEN-CHANG writes down her name on the sign-up sheet with ARTIE ABRAMS beside her.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. TINA is on stage.]**

 **TINA: (stuttering) Tina C. "I Kissed A Girl."**

 **[TINA sings Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl".]**

"Yes! Katy!" Blaine cheered and Kurt tilted his head.

"I forgot she used to dressed like that." He murmured thoughtfully.

[ **CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. RACHEL approaches the sign-up sheet and writes down her name.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. RACHEL is on stage.]**

 **RACHEL: Hi, my name is Rachel Berry, and I'll be singing "On My Own" from the seminal Broadway classic Les Mis.**

 **WILL: Fantastic, let's hear it.**

 **[RACHEL starts singing "On My Own" from Les Miserables.]**

"Wow," Kurt hummed, "this is the first time I've ever actually wanted to hear more come out of Rachel's mouth."

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. RACHEL applies a gold star sticker to the end of her name on the sign-up sheet.]**

 **RACHEL: (voice over) You might laugh because every time I sign my name, I put a gold star after it. But it's a metaphor and metaphors are important. My gold stars are a metaphor for me being a star.**

"Wow, is she really like this in real life?" Cameron asked in disbelief and Kurt laughed. "Oh just wait, it gets worse before it gets any better."

 **[PUCK throws a slushie in RACHEL's face.]**

"Woah, what was that?" Jeff asked genuinely confused.

"That was a slushie. Cherry stings the worst, but at least it was only one." Kurt said casually and Blaine gripped his hand tighter.

"You mean they did that to you too?" Wes asked and Kurt just hummed noncommittally, already focused back on the TV.

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. RACHEL is walking down the hallway in a rush.]**

 **RACHEL: (voice over) And just so we're clear, I want to clear up that hateful rumor that I was the one who turned that closet case Sandy Ryerson in because he gave Hank Saunders the solo I deserved. That's cockpoopie.**

"Cockpoopie?" Nick mouth to Jeff but he just shrugged.

 **[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY. RACHEL is crying to FIGGINS.]**

 **RACHEL: He was touching Hank, caressing him. It was so wrong!**

 **[FIGGINS hands her a tissue. RACHEL dabs at her cheeks, smiling.]**

"It is true though." Trent said with a shrug and Flint shuddered.

[ **CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. RACHEL is admiring a photo of two men on the door of her locker.]**

 **RACHEL: (voice over) I am not homophobic. In fact, I have two gay dads. See, I was born out of love. My two dads screened potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ. Then they mixed their sperm together and used a turkey baster. To this day, we don't know which one is my real dad, which I think is pretty amazing.**

"What?" Reid asked.

"Just don't." Kurt sighed.

[ **CUT TO: INT. DANCE STUDIO - DAY. A young RACHEL dances wildly.]**

 **RACHEL: (voice over) My dads spoiled me in the arts. I was given dance lessons, vocal lessons, anything to give me a competitive edge.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. RACHEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT. RACHEL is looking at her laptop.]**

 **RACHEL: (voice over) You might think that all the boys in school would totally want to tap this, but my MySpace schedule keeps me way too busy to date.**

 **[RACHEL sets up a video recorder on a tripod and starts to sing.]**

 **RACHEL: (voice over) I try to post a MySpace video every day, just to keep my talent alive and growing. Nowadays, being anonymous is worse than being poor. Fame is the most important thing in our culture now. And if there's one thing I've learned, it's that no one's just gonna hand it to you.**

 **[RACHEL uploads a video of her singing.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. GYMNASIUM - DAY. QUINN FABRAY, SANTANA LOPEZ, and other Cheerios are watching RACHEL's video and laughing. QUINN writes a comment that says "If I were your parents, I would sell you back." Another comment reads "I'm going to scratch out my eyes." Another says "Please get sterilized."]**

Kurt tensed and Blaine pulled him into his chest. The Dalton boys all cooed at them.

 **[CUT TO: INT. RACHEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT. RACHEL reads the comments.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. RACHEL's audition continues.]**

 **WILL: Very nice, Rachel.**

 **RACHEL: When do we start rehearsals?**

"And the diva is awoken." Kurt joked and Blaine giggled.

 **[CUT TO: INT. CHOIR ROOM - DAY. RACHEL, TINA, MERCEDES, KURT, and ARTIE are rehearsing "Sit Down, You're Rockin' The Boat" from Guys and Dolls. WILL is directing. They are terrible.]**

"Wait, why are you guys so terrible? You guys are usually so amazing!" Thad asked and Kurt sighed.

"Well," Kurt started and Nick could practically taste sarcastic Kurt's arrival, "Artie did kind of smack into the wall at the end."

 **RACHEL: We suck.**

 **WILL: Uh, it… It'll get there. We-we just need to keep rehearsing.**

 **RACHEL: Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in "Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat" to a boy in a wheelchair?**

Blaine and Nick winced.

 **ARTIE: I think Mr. Schue is using irony to enhance the performance.**

 **RACHEL: There is nothing ironic about show choir!**

 **WILL: Rachel… Rachel!**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. SUE is yelling at her Cheerios. RACHEL is watching from the bleachers.]**

 **SUE: That's sloppy! You're sloppy babies! It's just disgraceful! And I want the agony out of your eyes! Uh-uh, Lance, don't you start crying! You are the weak link, pal! How's it feel to be the weak link, huh?! That can't feel very good!**

"Sloppy babies?" Trent repeated.

"Poor Lance." David sympathised.

[ **WILL enters. He sits down behind RACHEL on the bleachers.]**

 **WILL: You changed out of your costume.**

 **RACHEL: I'm tired of being laughed at.**

 **WILL: You're the best kid in there, Rachel. That comes with a price.**

 **RACHEL: Look, I know I'm just a sophomore, but I can feel the clock ticking away, and I don't want to leave high school with nothing to show for it.**

 **WILL: You get great grades. You're a fantastic singer.**

 **RACHEL: Everybody hates me.**

 **WILL: And you think Glee Club is going to change that?**

"It definitely made it worse." Kurt sighed and Blaine remembered when Kurt came to spy for Dalton and him looking so shocked when he realised that the Warblers were actually popular.

 **RACHEL: Being great at something is going to change it. Being a part of something special makes you special, right? I need a male lead who can keep up with me vocally.**

"You could and can keep up with her Kurt." Blaine argued and Kurt just shrugged.

 **WILL: Maybe I can coach Artie a little.**

 **RACHEL: Look, Mr. Schue, I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but if you can't give me what I need, then I'm sorry. I'm not going to make a fool out of myself. I can't keep wasting my time with Glee. It hurts too much.**

 **[KEN blows his whistle to get their attention.]**

 **KEN: Schuester! Figgins wants you!**

 **[CUT TO: INT. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE - DAY. FIGGINS is punching away at his calculator.]**

 **WILL: But we just started rehearsals.**

"Already?" Wes asked shocked and Kurt nodded.

 **FIGGINS: My hands are tied, Schue. I need the auditorium. Alcoholics Anonymous wants to rent it out for their afternoon meetings. Lots of drunks in this town. They're paying me ten bucks a head.**

 **WILL: If we show at regionals, Glee stays; if not, the bar's open on the auditorium.**

 **FIGGINS: What is it with you and this club? You've got only five kids–one of them's a cripple.**

"What a great principal." Thad snarked and Nick frowned.

"What's wrong?" Jeff asked and Nick just shook his head.

"I just forgot how public schools are."

 **WILL: Then I guess you've got nothing to worry about.**

 **FIGGINS: Fine.**

 **WILL: Yes!**

 **FIGGINS: But you're running detention for free to make it up to me.**

 **WILL: Deal.**

"That doesn't sound like a deal to me." David said pulling a face.

 **[CUT TO: INT. SHEETS N THINGS - DAY. TERRI is teaching HOWARD BAMBOO how to fold a fitted sheet.]**

 **TERRI: You put your hands in the corners like this. Okay?**

 **HOWARD: I can't do it. I'm dyslexic. Maybe I should just stick to towels and washcloths.**

"Does that make any type of sense?" Kurt asked and Blaine, Logan and Luke shook their heads.

"Ok. Just checking." He said before snuggling back into Blaine.

 **TERRI: Howard, if you can't fold a fitted sheet, you cannot work at Sheets N' Things.**

 **P.A.: Associate to returns.**

 **TERRI: Go. Make sure they have a receipt.**

 **[HOWARD exits. WILL enters.]**

 **WILL: Someone looks beautiful today.**

 **TERRI: Hey.**

 **WILL: Hi.**

 **TERRI: You look very handsome.**

 **WILL: Thank you. I just thought I'd bring you roast beef on pumpernickel–your favorite.**

 **TERRI: Aw. Oh, but does it have mayo?**

 **WILL: Yeah.**

 **TERRI: Will, if my diabetes comes back, I can't get pregnant.**

 **WILL: I…**

 **TERRI: What is wrong with you?**

"Hey! He just wanted to bring her a sandwich." Kurt exclaimed angrily. Mr. Shue might have been hypocritical and slightly dismissive but he was still Kurt's favorite teacher. (Other than Miss. Pillsbury.)

 **WILL: I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to have to start working late for the next couple of months. I'm, uh, monitoring after-school detention.**

 **TERRI: What?**

 **WILL: I had to make a deal with Figgins so he wouldn't kill Glee Club.**

 **TERRI: But Will, I'm on my feet four hours a day three times a week here. Now I have to go home, and I have to cook dinner for myself?**

"What is her problem?" Cameron asked disgusted. "My sister does all of that and still gets straight A's and has time for her boyfriend."

 **[HOWARD enters.]**

 **HOWARD: This lady wants to return these sheets, but… something tells me we've got another bed wetter.**

"That's pleasant." Kurt snarked and Blaine stifled a laugh.

 **TERRI: Do you see what I have to deal with here?**

 **[TERRI grabs the soiled sheets. TERRI and HOWARD exit.]**

 **TERRI: God, hasn't she ever heard of a diaper?**

 **[WILL sees SANDY in the next aisle. He is speaking to a Sheets N' Things EMPLOYEE.]**

 **SANDY: Of course, towels have a thread count, Mister… Sheets N' Things. What do you do? I read catalogues. I know these things. Anything under a 400 thread count, and I could break out in impetigo. It's simple to understand.**

[ **EMPLOYEE exits. WILL tries to sneak past SANDY.]**

 **SANDY: William?**

 **WILL: Sandy? Hey.**

 **SANDY: Well, hello. How are things? I hear you have taken over Glee Club.**

"Yes! Finally some drama!" David cheered and Jeff rolled his eyes.

"Just you wait." Kurt murmured and Blaine frowned concernedly.

 **WILL: Yeah. I… hope you're not too upset.**

 **SANDY: Are you kidding? Getting out of that swirling eddy of despair: best thing that ever happened to me. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't easy at first. Being dismissed, and for what I was accused of. My long-distance girlfriend in Cleveland nearly broke up with me. Oh God, don't you love a good monkey? Took me weeks to get over my nervous breakdown.**

 **WILL: Did they put you on medication?**

 **SANDY: Better: medical marijuana. It's genius. I just tell my Dr. Feelgood I'm having trouble sleeping, and he gives me all of it I want. I'm finding the whole system quite lucrative.**

"What the actual hell?" Flint exclaimed. Kurt laughed bright and happy and Blaine sighed as the melodic sound traveled through the room.

 **WILL: You're a drug dealer?**

 **SANDY: Oh, yeah… make five times more than when I was a teacher.**

 **SANDY: I keep some for myself, and then I take money baths in the rest.**

 **WILL: Who-who do you sell it to?**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. SHADY LOT - DAY. SANDY gives KEN a packet of marijuana in exchange for money.]**

"Oh my Gaga."

 **[CUT TO: INT. SHEETS N THINGS - DAY. SANDY holds up a packet of marijuana labeled The Chronic Lady.]**

 **SANDY: You want in?**

 **WILL: Uh, no… I mean, I tried it once in college, but Terri and I are trying to get pregnant, so…**

 **[SANDY puts the packet into WILL's pocket.]**

 **SANDY: Do my own packaging, and the first sample is free.**

 **WILL: Sandy, no.**

 **SANDY: Come on, you are the one who are coaching those tone-deaf acne factories. You're going to need it.**

"Wow, glad he's gone." Thad frowned and Kurt hummed in agreement.

 **[Sheets N' Things EMPLOYEE returns with a toilet cover.]**

 **SANDY: This looks like barf. Okay? I have to do everything myself. (to WILL) Call me. (to EMPLOYEE) Come on. What's the matter with you? This is terrible.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY. SUE is dusting her cheerleading trophies when WILL knocks on her door and looks in.]**

 **WILL: Hey, Sue. Can I have a sec?**

 **SUE: Sure, buddy. Come on in.**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY. EMMA steps in a large wad of chewing gum. She freaks out and sits down on a nearby bench. WILL approaches.]**

 **WILL: Hey, Emma, you got a second? What is that, gum?**

 **[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY.]**

"Why does it keep switching scenes!" David groaned throwing his head back and Nick giggled.

 **SUE: So, you want to talk to my Cheerios about joining Glee Club?**

"Oh. That's never gonna work." Kurt said.

"How do you have Santana, Quinn and Brittney on New Directions then?" Blaine asked and Kurt smiled knowingly.

"You'll see."

 **WILL: Well, I need more kids - performers - and all the best ones are in the Cheerios, so I figured some of them might want to double up.**

 **SUE: Okay, so what you're doing right now is called blurring the lines. High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks and your popular kids up in the penthouse. The invisibles and the kids playing live-action out in the forest: bottom floor.**

 **WILL: And… where do the Glee kids lie?**

 **SUE: Sub-basement.**

The Warblers looked slightly offended but Kurt was shaking with laughter,

 **[CUT TO: EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY. WILL is trying to scrape the gum off EMMA's shoe.]**

 **EMMA: Sue's not wrong, but I don't think anything is set in stone. I mean, you know, kids are going to do what they think is cool, which is not always who they are. You just need to find a way to get them out of their boxes.**

 **WILL: Well, how do I do that?**

 **EMMA: They follow the leader. You know, if you can get a couple of the popular kids to sign up, the rest will fall right in line.**

"Oh." Blaine said and Kurt smiled pecking him on the lips.

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. WILL is jogging alongside KEN's golf cart.]**

 **WILL: I just want to talk to them.**

 **KEN: I don't know, dude. I can't see any of my guys wanting to join Glee Club. Last month, they held down one of their teammates, shaved off his eyebrows just because he watched Grey's Anatomy.**

"And that's okay? He's okay with that?" Wes shouted and Kurt and Nick both flinched.

" _Wesley,_ relax." Blaine growled and Wes calmed down immediately.

Kurt was shaking slightly but his voice was somehow steadier than they've ever heard it. "You guys are going to have a ball if this goes for how long I think it will."

 **WILL: Look, all I'm looking for is an introduction.**

 **KEN: Fine. You got to put a good word in for me with Emma.**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY. WILL finishes scraping the gum off EMMA's shoe.]**

 **WILL: There you go, Cinderella.**

 **EMMA: Thank you. I have trouble with things like that. The, um… the… the messy things.**

 **WILL: Yeah.**

 **EMMA: It's really nice how much you care about Glee, about the kids.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. SUE'S OFFICE - DAY.]**

 **SUE: If you really care about these kids, you'll leave well enough alone. Children like to know where they stand, so let your little Glee kids have their little club, but don't pretend that any of them are something they're not.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. BOYS LOCKER ROOM - DAY. KEN is standing at the front of the room with WILL. The football team is scattered around.]**

 **KEN: Circle up. Mr. Schuester is going to talk to you. If you don't listen, you do laps. You mouth off, you do laps. Got it? They're all yours, Will.**

 **WILL: Thanks, Ken. Hey, guys, how you doing? Uh, I think I recognize some of you from Spanish class, but, uh, I'm… I'm here today to talk to you about something different: music. Glee Club needs guys.**

 **PUCK: I can sing.**

 **WILL: Really? That's fantastic.**

"Oh no."

 **PUCK: You wanna hear?**

 **WILL: Yeah.**

 **[PUCK walks to the front of the locker room amid applause from the other football players. He lets out a loud fart.]**

"Very mature Noah." Kurt muttered.

 **PUCK: Ohhh yeah.**

 **WILL: I'm going to put the sign-up sheet at the door to the so if anyone wants to sign up, please… Thank you.**

 **KEN: Dismissed. Puck, in my office in five minutes.**

 **WILL: You been sleeping okay? Your eyes look a little bloodshot.**

 **KEN: I got allergies.**

 **WILL: Okay. Thanks a lot.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. BOYS LOCKER ROOM - DAY. The New Directions sign-up sheet has three names: Gaylord Weiner, Butt Lunch, and Penis. WILL stares at the sheet, dismayed.]**

 **WILL: (voice over) I honestly thought that was the end of the very brief fever dream that was "New Directions".**

 **[WILL hears someone singing REO Speedwagon's "Can't Fight This Feeling". He finds FINN in the showers, singing to himself.]**

 **WILL: (voice over) I suddenly realized why I had wanted to do this thing in the first place. It was seeing the gift in a kid that they didn't even know they had. It was pure talent. What I did then… was the blackest moment of my life**.

"Oh gosh. I never actually knew how he got Finn to join." Kurt said excitedly.

[ **CUT TO: INT. WILL'S OFFICE - DAY. WILL shows FINN the packet of marijuana that SANDY gave him.]**

 **WILL: You want to tell me how long you've had a drug problem?**

"Oh my gosh, he didn't!" Jeff howled in laughter falling against Nick who was also bubbling with laughter.

"That's crazy!" Kurt gasped shaking against Blaine.

 **FINN: I don't even know who the Chronic Lady is.**

 **WILL: Look, if it were up to me, we wouldn't have mandatory bi-weekly afternoon locker checks.**

 **FINN: But I've never seen that before, Mr. Schue, I swear. It's not mine. I'll pee in a cup. I'll pee.**

"Poor Finn." Nick murmured finally done laughing.

 **WILL: Look, it… it wouldn't make any difference. Possession is eight-tenths of the law. I'm pretty sure that much pot is a felony. Yeah. Look, you'll get kicked out of school. You'll lose your football scholarship.**

 **FINN: Wait… I had a football scholarship? To… to where?**

"Did he really make up a football scholarship? Your teacher is badass Kurt." Thad laughed.

"Former teacher." Trent reminded softly and Kurt smiled.

 **WILL: You could land in prison, son.**

 **FINN: Oh my God. Please, don't tell my mom.**

 **WILL: Look, I see a lot of myself in you, Finn. I know what it's like to struggle to make good life choices, and I don't want to see you throw away everything you have to offer the world. I just expected more out of you, Finn.**

 **FINN: (voice over) That really got to me when Mr. Schuester said that, because every day of my life, I expect more out of myself. See, I might look confident and everything, but I really struggle with the same thing others kids do: peer pressure, bacne.**

"TMI." Kurt groaned and flopped back onto the couch dramatically.

 **[CUT TO: INT. FINN'S HOUSE - DAY. A young FINN looks at a photograph of his father.]**

 **FINN: (voice over) I never knew my dad. He died in Iraq when we were fighting Osama bin Laden the first time.**

Kurt sat up and payed close attention. His brother may be dumb, but he still wanted to know about his life.

 **[Young FINN plays the drums. FINN's mother CAROLE HUDSON is trying to talk on the phone.]**

 **CAROLE: Hold on, hold on. Finn, Finn, Finn! Please, I'm on the phone. I just want to trade next Saturday's shift for this Saturday, because Finn's got a parents night for Cub Scouts.**

 **FINN: (voice over) My mom and me, we're real close, but being a single parent can be hard. The only good time for Mom was en we splurged a little bit and ordered Emerald Dreams.**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FINN'S HOUSE - DAY. Emerald Dreams employee DARREN is spraying the Hudsons' front lawn. Young FINN is helping him. CAROLE is sitting close by.]**

 **FINN: (voice over) Darren was good to her, and he was cool about letting me hang out.**

 **[Young FINN and DARREN sing Journey's "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'".]**

 **FINN: (voice over) That was the first time I really heard music. Man, it set my soul on fire.**

 **DARREN: You got a voice, buddy. Seriously, if I had that voice, my band would still be together. Stick with it.**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FINN'S HOUSE - DAY. DARREN drives by with his new girlfriend.]**

 **FINN: (voice over) My mom took it real hard when Darren left her for that girl he met at Pick & Save.**

"That sucks." Ethan tisked while David hummed along to the song.

 **[CAROLE throws a milk jug at DARREN's truck, upset.]**

 **FINN: (voice over) It was at that moment I decided to do whatever it took to make my mom proud of me. To make her feel all her sacrifice was worth it.**

"He seems okay, except for the bullying thing." Wes shrugged.

Kurt winced but didn't say anything.

 **[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S OFFICE - DAY.]**

 **WILL: We have two options here. I'm running detention now, so you can do six weeks after school, but that's gonna remain on your permanent record.**

 **FINN: What's the other option, Mr. Schue?**

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. FINN starts singing "You're the One that I Want" from Grease. RACHEL perks up and joins in, excited. After a moment, MERCEDES breaks them up.]**

"OH MY GOD!" Jeff yelled and everyone looked at him.

"How did she touch your hair, and live?" he asked and Kurt's face turned thoughtful for a moment.

"I just wasn't expecting it, and that's Rachel. You can't honestly argue with her and not have your head explode from irritation."

"I can touch his hair and live." Blaine boasted before grabbing Kurt and pulling him in for a heated kiss.

Jeff grumbled and rolled his eyes.

 **MERCEDES: Oh, hell to the no. Look, I'm not down with this background singing nonsense. I'm Beyonce. I ain't no Kelly Rowland.**

"I like her." David said approvingly and Kurt smirked.

 **WILL: Okay, look, Mercedes, it's just one song.**

 **KURT: And it's the first time we've been kind of good.**

"I bet you _have_ sounded good before, they just haven't put Kurt in the lead." Thad argued and Kurt blushed.

 **MERCEDES: Okay, you're good, white boy. I'll give you that. But you better bring it. Let's run it again.**

"White boy.." Trent questioned.

"Term of endearment. Mercedes loves us." Kurt said banishing Trent's unfounded worries.

 **WILL: All right, let's do it. From the top.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. TERRI'S CRAFT ROOM - NIGHT. TERRI and WILL are putting together a jigsaw puzzle.]**

 **WILL: You usually don't let me in your craft room.**

 **TERRI: Isn't this fun? And challenging. Every Wednesday, we're gonna have puzzle night. Because I know how important it is for you to have a creative outlet.**

 **WILL: You know, the kids have been working so hard. I was thinking about taking them on a field trip next Saturday. Carmel High's performing a showcase down in Akron. Now, Carmel's gonna be the team to beat at regionals. And I was wondering if you might want to come chaperone it with me.**

 **TERRI: On Saturday? Oh, I can't. I had to pick up an extra shift at work, Will. We're living paycheck to paycheck, you know.**

 **WILL: And how much of that paycheck goes to your Pottery Barn credit card?**

 **TERRI: I don't know what you're talking about.**

 **[WILL stands up and heads toward a closet.]**

 **TERRI: Don't go in the Christmas closet!**

 **[WILL opens up the closet, revealing things TERRI has purchased without his knowledge.]**

"Woah. She could supply an art classroom for a year with all that." Kurt gaped.

 **WILL: I was looking for my jacket the other day. We cannot afford this stuff, Terri.**

 **TERRI: Oh, we could, Will. Yes, I am a shoo-in to be promoted during the Christmas week at Sheets N' Things. You know, I reek of management potential. And they're hiring at H.W. Menken.**

 **WILL: My passion is teaching, Terri. For the last time, I don't want to be an accountant.**

 **TERRI: Dr. Phil said that people could change. You know, it's not a bad thing to want a real life, Will, and to have a glue gun that works! You know, it's really hard for me not having the things that I need.**

"Does she really need a glue gun though?" Cameron asked in disbelief.

 **WILL: Oh! And you need three mahogany toilet brush holders?!**

 **TERRI: They're Balinese! It is not a bad thing to want things, Will. You know, I understand your interest in these kids, Will. I really do. Yeah. It's your way of recapturing your glory days. But I'm not the high school cheerleader anymore, and you are not the golden boy. High school's over… for both of us. It's time that you move on.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY. KEN is staring at EMMA while shredding papers. EMMA is staring at WILL, who is putting up a sign-up sheet for chaperones. Once WILL leaves, EMMA walks up to the sheet and puts her name down.]**

"That was almost enough staring to make me have a Twilight flashback." Nick joked.

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. PUCK is throwing footballs at another football player's head. He notices KEN yelling at FINN.]**

 **KEN: You're the quarterback! No. I don't want to hear it. You make your decision. You're a football player, or you're a singer.**

 **[FINN walks by. PUCK catches up to him.]**

 **PUCK: Hey. What's going on?**

 **FINN: Oh. I just… I have to miss practice Saturday afternoon. It's, uh… it's my mom. I got to help her… cook and, uh, do things.**

 **PUCK: Why?**

 **FINN: She just had, uh, surgery.**

 **PUCK: What kind of surgery?**

 **FINN: Uh, well, she, um, had to have her prostate out.**

"Oh Finn." Kurt sighed and Blaine sniggered.

 **PUCK: Man, that's a tough break.**

 **FINN: Yeah, it's, uh, engorged.**

"Just quit while you're ahead dude." Ethan groaned.

 **[CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY.]**

 **SUE: You think this is hard? I'm living with hepatitis. That's hard.**

"Does she always do that?" Jeff asked and Kurt nodded.

"She is proud of us though.

"Us?" Wes gasped and Kurt immediately turned red.

"Nope, I said them, I didn't say us." Kurt protested and Blaine gasped.

"Were you a Cheerio?" Blaine asked but Kurt stayed silent.

 **[CUT TO: INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY. KEN enters and slaps away the book that WILL was reading.]**

"That's rude."

 **KEN: You stole my quarterback.**

 **WILL: Okay, look. Finn's got a great voice. He just wants to express himself.**

 **KEN: You're screwing up my life.**

 **WILL: Okay, Ken? You hate football. What's this really about?**

"How can the football coach hate football?" Nick wondered and Blaine just shrugged.

 **[CUT TO: EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. EMMA is disinfecting the door handle of her car. KEN approaches.]**

 **KEN: Hey, M &M. So, I got tickets to Monster Trucks this weekend. Luge tickets.**

"Even I know that a girl wouldn't like that." Blaine commented.

 **"You just have to find the right girl." Kurt said thinking of Lauren, his replacement.**

 **EMMA: No thanks. Not really my thing.**

 **KEN: Truckzilla versus Truckasaurus, and get this: the trucks breathe fire.**

 **EMMA: Ken. Look, you know how every time you ask me out, I tell you that I'm on my period?**

 **KEN: Which doesn't bother me.**

 **EMMA: Or I'm suffering from cluster headaches, or I'm allergic to nighttime? Those things–not really true. I'm just not interested in dating you.**

"Allergic to nighttime? And he _bought_ it?" Flint asked in honest disbelief and Kurt sighed.

 **KEN: How do I get you… into my hatchback?**

"Not like _that_." Blaine groaned.

 **EMMA: Okay, Ken, fine, you know what, make me say it: I like somebody else. All right? Nothing I can do about it because they're unavailable, so I have to deal with that, but–**

 **[KEN licks his hand and rubs it all over EMMA's car door handle.]**

"That's terrible." Nick muttered.

"Not to mention disgusting." Jeff agreed.

 **[CUT TO: INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY.]**

 **KEN: You're right. I'm overreacting. The herd will take care of it.**

 **WILL: The herd?**

 **KEN: The student body. The second someone tries to rise above - be different - the herd pulls them back in. So. Oh, and by the way, thanks for putting a good word in for me with Emma, buddy. I guess you just want her for yourself, huh? Adios, amigo.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. CARMEL HIGH SCHOOL - DAY. RACHEL and FINN are in line for snacks. WILL and EMMA are behind them.]**

 **RACHEL: You're very talented.**

 **FINN: Really?**

 **RACHEL: Yeah. I would know. I'm very talented, too. I think the rest of the team expects us to become an item. You, the hot male lead, and me, the stunning young ingenue everyone roots for.**

"Here she goes." Kurt sighs rolling his eyes.

 **FINN: Well, I, uh, have a girlfriend.**

 **RACHEL: Really? Who?**

 **FINN: Quinn Fabray.**

 **RACHEL: Cheerleader Quinn Fabray? The president of the Celibacy Club?**

 **[CUT TO: INT. QUINN'S HOUSE - NIGHT. FINN and QUINN are making out. FINN reaches down to touch QUINN's butt. QUINN stops him and sits up.]**

"I really didn't need to see any of that." Blaine sighs and David turns to him.

"Are you crazy?" He asked before turning back to the screen.

"Nope," Blaine muttered, "just gay." Kurt, who heard his statement, laughed and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 **QUINN: Wait. Let's pray.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. CARMEL HIGH SCHOOL - DAY.]**

 **FINN: For almost four months now. She's cool. Mmm, I wonder if they have Sour Patch Kids.**

 **[RACHEL and FINN move forward in line.]**

 **WILL: Those kielbasas look like they've been in there a while.**

 **EMMA: Do you want to go halvsies on a PB and J?**

 **WILL: That sounds perfect.**

 **EMMA: Yeah?**

 **WILL: Yeah. Let's go. (to people in line) Sorry. Excuse me.**

"Why is that so cute?" Ethan asked but no one had an answer for them.

 **[WILL and EMMA sit down together.]**

 **WILL: I haven't had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in a really long time.**

 **EMMA: Really?**

 **WILL: Yeah. My wife's allergic to nuts.**

 **EMMA: Well, that's really sweet, though–not eating something because she can't.**

 **WILL: Oh, yeah.**

 **EMMA: It's really nice. Oh, that's really noisy. But they're clean.**

 **[EMMA gives WILL half of her sandwich.]**

 **WILL: Oh, my gosh.**

 **EMMA: How, um… How long have you two been married?**

 **WILL: Mm, five years last March.**

 **EMMA: Really?**

 **WILL: Yeah. But we've been together since high school. I mean, she was my first girlfriend, actually.**

 **EMMA: Was it love at first sight?**

 **WILL: For me it was. I don't know. She used to be filled with so much joy.**

 **EMMA: And now?**

"She's kinda _crazy_." Kurt muttered under his breath.

 **[The lights flicker.]**

 **WILL: Oh. Showtime. You don't want to hear about my marital problems.**

 **EMMA: Oh, no, I do. I-I do. I mean, I-I'd love to hear. You… I mean, I'm not happy that you have marital problems, but people talk to me a lot 'cause I'm a guidance counselor.**

 **WILL: Okay, here's the thing. Terri rides me hard, and I've always appreciated it. I figure she just wants me to be better, you know? But lately, though, I keep asking myself, better at what? Making money? Being upwardly mobile? I don't know. I-I love her. Don't get me wrong. We just got to get back on the same page.**

 **EMMA: Do you like the sandwich?**

"Great subject change." Jeff said sarcastically and Wes turned to David, "She's supposed to be their guidance counselor?"

 **WILL: Oh my God, it's like the best I've ever had.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. CARMEL HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM - DAY. WILL, EMMA, and the New Directions are seated together, about to watch Carmel High's glee club perform. WILL leans over to the others.]**

 **WILL: Hey, guys, so this is supposed to be our competition, but, uh, I honestly don't think that they've got the talent that we've got. But let's be a good audience, all right? Give 'em some of that old McKinley High respect.**

 **ANNOUNCER: Please give a warm Buckeye State welcome to last year's regional champions, Vocal Adrenaline!**

 **[Vocal Adrenaline performs Amy Winehouse's "Rehab". It is amazing. Everyone cheers. New Directions is stunned.]**

 **TINA: We're d-d-doomed.**

"Ugh, I forgot how annoying that is." Kurt grumbled and Blaine frowned having just realised.

 _Why is Tina stuttering?_

[ **CUT TO: EXT. CARMEL HIGH SCHOOL - DAY. FINN walks past a group of Carmel High drummers. PUCK and a few football players are waiting for him around the corner with paintball guns.]**

Kurt stiffened and Blaine automatically grabbed his hand.

 **PUCK: Chicks don't have prostates. I looked it up. You broke the rules, Finn, and for that, you must be punished.**

 **[The football players hold up their paintball guns and surround FINN.]**

 **FINN: Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. You've got the power here, okay? You-you don't have to do this.**

 **[The football players open fire.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. WILL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT. WILL enters. TERRI is waiting for him with champagne. A banner that reads "Congratulations" is hanging in the doorway.]**

 **TERRI: There's my baby.**

 **WILL: Wow, honey. This is amazing. What-what's the congratulations for? The kids haven't won anything yet.**

 **TERRI: I'm pregnant.**

"Aww, I really liked him with Miss. Pillsbury."

 **WILL: Really?**

 **TERRI: Yeah.**

 **WILL: Terri, don't mess with me. Oh my God, this is amazing. We're going to be a family. Oh my God. Oh! Can't believe it.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. WILL is breaking the bad news to the New Directions.]**

 **ARTIE: You're leaving us? When?**

 **WILL: Well, I've given my two weeks' notice, but I promise I'm gonna find you guys a great replacement before I go.**

 **MERCEDES: Is this 'cause those Carmel kids were so good? Because we can work harder.**

 **RACHEL: This isn't fair, Mr. Schuester. We can't do this without you.**

 **FINN: So does that mean that I don't have to be in the club anymore or…?**

 **WILL: This isn't about you guys. Being an adult is about having to make difficult choices. It's not like high school. Sometimes you have to give up the things that you love. One day you guys are going to grow up and understand that. I have loved being your teacher.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. WILL is packing up his things. He picks up his guitar and starts singing John Denver's "Leaving on a Jet Plane".**

 **[CUT TO: EXT. MCKINLEY HIGH - DAY. EMMA draws a heart around WILL's face in the yearbook.]**

"That's so sweet. And sad." Trent said slightly bummed out.

 **[CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM - DAY. WILL fills out a job application for H.W. Menken.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY. EMMA overhears other teachers talking about WILL.]**

 **TEACHER: I heard he's having a baby. That's why he gave Figgins his notice.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. CLASSROOM - DAY. WILL finishes filling out his job application. EMMA walks up to him.]**

 **EMMA: Need help grading those papers?**

 **WILL: It's actually an application for H.W. Menken. They're hiring. Come on. Accounting is sexy. I'll miss you.**

 **EMMA: Before you leave, can you do me a favor?**

 **WILL: Yeah.**

 **EMMA: I made an appointment for you tomorrow in the career center. You need some guidance.**

 **WILL: I'm having a kid, Emma. What I need is better benefits.**

 **EMMA: Just come, Will, for me.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. FINN shuts his locker and finds RACHEL standing there.]**

 **RACHEL: Didn't see you at Glee Club today.**

 **FINN: Is that still happening?**

 **RACHEL: I've taken over. I'm interim director, but I expect the position will become permanent.**

"Oh gosh, she was ridiculous." Kurt laughed.

 **[QUINN and SANTANA enter.]**

 **QUINN: Hi, Finn. (to RACHEL) RuPaul.**

 **FINN: Hey.**

 **QUINN: What are you doing talking to her?**

 **RACHEL: Science project–we're partners.**

 **QUINN: Christ Crusaders tonight at 5, my house.**

 **FINN: Sounds great.**

 **[QUINN and SANTANA exit.]**

 **FINN: Look, I-I should go. I can't do Glee anymore. It conflicts with…**

 **RACHEL: Your reputation? You've really got something, Finn, and you're throwing it away.**

 **FINN: I-I'm going to be late.**

 **RACHEL: You can't keep worrying about what people think of you, Finn. You're better than all of them.**

"Good advice." Wes said eyeing Nick and kurt.

[ **CUT TO: EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY. Football players are rehearsing. FINN and PUCK are talking.]**

 **PUCK: What do you want me to do, apologize? That's not me, dude. Look, if I joined the flag team, you'd beat the crap out of me. I just don't understand why you did it.**

 **FINN: Schuester told me it'd give me enough extra credit to pass Spanish if I joined the club, okay? I… I didn't have a choice. If I failed another class, I'd be off the team. Look, it's over, okay? I quit. Anything else?**

 **PUCK: No, that's it. And as a welcome back to the world of the normal… I got you a present.**

 **[PUCK walks ahead. FINN hears a sound.]**

 **FINN: What's that noise?**

 **[ARTIE is trapped inside a portable toilet.]**

 **ARTIE: Help, help! Help!**

"Oh my god." Ethan mumbled and Flint turned bright green.

Blaine watches Kurt but he seems fine enough, he is _really_ focused on filing his nails though. Wes, David, Thad and Cameron's faces were red with rage while Jeff tried to comfort a shaking Nick. Blaine doesn't even know that he's trembling until Kurt wraps a pair strong arms around him. Blaine buries his head into Kurt's neck, shame pooling in his stomach for accepting comfort from someone who probably needed it more.

"It's fine. This is like childsplay compared to what I've been through." Kurt murmured into Blaine's ear and for some reason that only made Blaine want to sob more.

 **[FINN walks up to the group of portable toilets. PUCK and other football players are standing nearby.]**

 **FINN: What's going on?**

 **PUCK: We got that wheelchair kid inside. We're going to flip it.**

 **FINN: Isn't that kind of dangerous?**

"He could die." Thad growled.

 **PUCK: He's already in a wheelchair. Come on, dude, we saved you the first roll.**

 **[FINN shakes his head. He opens the portable toilet and pulls ARTIE out.]**

 **ARTIE: Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Oh my God, the smell.**

 **PUCK: What the hell, dude? I can't believe you're helping out this loser.**

 **FINN: Don't you get it, man? We're all losers–everyone in this school. Hell, everyone in this town. Out of all the kids who graduate, maybe half will go to college, and two will leave the state to do it. I'm not afraid of being called a loser 'cause I can accept that that's what I am. But I am afraid of turning my back on something that actually made me happy for the first time in my sorry life.**

"Wow, that was impressive." Kurt said absentmindedly, still running his hands through Blaine's curls.

 **PUCK: So what? Are you quitting to join Homo Explosion?**

"That's offensive." Jeff huffed.

 **FINN: No. I'm doing both. 'Cause you can't win without me and neither can they.**

 **[FINN wheels ARTIE away. In the distance, DARREN, the Emerald Dreams employee from FINN's childhood is spraying the football field and singing Journey.]**

"There is a lot of Journey huh?" Cameron observed and for some reason that made Kurt laugh.

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. RACHEL and the rest of New Directions are arguing when FINN wheels ARTIE in.]**

 **RACHEL: Look, you guys, these steps are not hard. I've been doing them since preschool.**

 **KURT: I'm sorry, did I miss the election for queen? Because I didn't vote for you.**

"Sassy Kurt is best Kurt." Flint praised and Kurt rolled his eyes.

 **RACHEL: I know what I'm talking about. I won my first dance competition when I was three months old.**

 **KURT: (to FINN) This is a closed rehearsal.**

"Oh snap."

 **FINN: Look, I owe you guys an apology. I never should have quit. I don't want to be the guy that just drives around throwing eggs at people.**

 **RACHEL: That was you?**

 **KURT: You and your friends threw pee balloons at me.**

"What?" Blaine cried out stricken.

Kurt nodded absently, pulling Blaine down so his head was in his lap. "Quite disgusting, I was traumatized for weeks." He commented calmly. All the Warbler stared at him wondering how he got through all of this alone.

 _Oh, they don't even know._

 **FINN: I know.**

 **KURT: You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof.**

 **FINN: I wasn't actually there for that, but I'm really sorry. Look, that isn't who I am, and I'm tired of it. This is what I want to be doing, with you guys. I used to think that this was like, the lamest thing on Earth, and maybe it is, but… we're all here for the same reason–'cause we want to be good at something. Artie, you play guitar, right? Think you could recruit the jazz band?**

 **ARTIE: I do have pull there.**

 **FINN: All right. Mercedes, we need new costumes, and they have to be cool. Can you do that?**

 **MERCEDES: Damn, don't you see what I got on?**

 **FINN: Rachel, you can do choreography. Tina, what are you good at?**

 **TINA: I-I…**

 **FINN: We'll figure something out for you.**

 **MERCEDES: And what are you bringing to the table, Justin Timberlake?**

 **FINN: I've got the music.**

 **[CUT TO: INT. TEACHERS LOUNGE - DAY. WILL and EMMA are sitting together at a table.]**

 **EMMA: I want to show you something. I did a little research… and this is a tape I found in the library of the '93 team at nationals.**

 **[EMMA plays the tape for WILL.]**

 **EMMA: Do you know who that is? That's you, Will. That's you happier than I've ever seen you.**

 **WILL: That was the greatest moment of my life.**

 **EMMA: Why?**

 **WILL: Because I loved what I was doing. I knew before we were halfway through with that number that we were going to win. Being a part of that, in that moment, I knew who I was in the world. And the only time I've felt that way since then was when Terri told me I was going to be a father. No. No, I need to provide for my family.**

"Is there this much drama every week?" Trent asked stressed out.

"This is a calm week for us." Kurt shrugged.

 **EMMA: But provide what exactly? The understanding that money is the most important thing? Or the idea that the only life worth living is one that you're really passionate about?**

"That's why she's our counselor." Kurt said proud and Wes ducked his head.

 **[CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY. WILL is walking away when he hears music from the auditorium.]**

 **[CUT TO: INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY. The New Directions perform Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'". WILL watches them perform. SUE, QUINN, and SANTANA watch from the rafters. PUCK from one of the exits. When they're done, WILL claps.]**

 **WILL: Good, guys. It's a nine. We need a ten. Rachel, you need to hit the ones and the fives. Finn, I think if we worked on it, you could hit a high "B."**

 **FINN: So does this mean you're staying?**

 **WILL: It would kill me to see you win nationals without me. From the top.**

The screen when dark and then it was over.


	2. Chapter 2

Whoops, there's a problem with my Word Doc and the uploading right now and I'm trying to have it fixed. I can probably have the chapter reuploaded by around tuesday or wednesday of next week. Sorry about that.

~BiPride76


	3. Chapter 3

I am moving this story to my AO3 account Drhair76 because for some reason doesn't like me.


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